I finally trusted myself enough to start doing full yoga sessions again. The app I use has a week plus long prenatal routine for the second and third trimester, so I started it. It was a great workout actually. I'm not feeling the pain that I have from some of the joint movement or pilates … Continue reading Disconnection →

I need to talk about something that I'm not going to tell anyone in person for at least a few months. I'm only barely admitting this to myself, and to be honest, making this decision feels almost as bad as the reasons I'm making it. But I start to panic when I think about it … Continue reading My decision is made →

There are a lot of posts recently addressing how painful it can be for some people when they are asked things like, "When are you going to have kids?" These are great to have because infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant loss, and the decision not to have children effect so many people. You would … Continue reading Asking about kids →

I noted the other day how once small change can lead to so many others. What I didn't take into consideration is how unnoticeable some of those other changes can be. I started changing little things a while ago, and honestly thought they were all duds. Today, I realized something. We don't have a week+ … Continue reading Lovely Spirals →

There was a list of self care tips I read a while ago. I don't remember everything on the list anymore, but one thing stuck with me. It said to pray over a candle every night and light it. I believe I stopped reading the list because it was very Christian-centric. That's not necessarily a … Continue reading Lighting Candles →

A few days ago, I was asking myself the question: How do you deal with the worry about having to see someone you don't want to see and who seems to be avoiding seeing you? Holidays are going to bring us back together, whether we like it or not. I was talking to a friend … Continue reading Stories and boxes →

I've been questioning so much recently if I'm a toxic person. I've come to the conclusion that I have toxic qualities, but I'm not entirely a toxic person. I can cut down on my toxic qualities, and should. One of the main reasons I don't think I'm entirely toxic is because I feel so bad … Continue reading Toxicity →

Instead of focusing on what you can't do, focus on what you can. I come back to this idea a lot. It doesn't solve all of my problems, but it makes some of them a little easier to handle. I've been struggling more than usual with my mental health, and I've been unwilling to fully … Continue reading Changing Focus →

Peopling does not seem to be a skill of mine today. I am trying to let it go. It just hasn't been a great day and it doesn't need to bring me down. I've been having problems with communication. Maybe I shouldn't be writing anything then. It just seems like I'm not on the same … Continue reading Not so great days →

I do already love you. That's a given. Just not as much as I wish I could. I am very guarded this time around. You've come on the heels of two losses after we thought we found a solution. The day considered the first of your pregnancy is the day I lost the one before. … Continue reading To my baby coming after so many losses →